Let’s face it—most “teen” horoscopes are written by folks whose ages haven’t ended with “-teen” since 2002 and are subsequently pretty cringe. We can’t guarantee that our daily horo will never be cringe, but we can guarantee that it’ll at least be useful.
Aries
The day is going to heat up and has more friction than sandpaper on a piece of wood. Sparks will be flying. Things will become fire-hazardous. No, not really. But virtually.
Taurus
It's time for you to decide who your allies are. Not so you can go after your enemies, but so you can focus on building stronger bonds with your existing allies.
Gemini
You like it when someone challenges your opinion because it means you can really get into why you see things the way you do. You're a pretty good talker and people like hearing you go off.
Cancer
You only have a little bit of cash on you, so make sure it goes as far as possible. Don't buy two burgers if you can just afford one. But if you can afford two? Absolutely go for it.
Leo
You kind of radiate light. People have told you this before. You're the sun and everyone would love to be in constant orbit around you. What can you say? When you've got it, you've got it.
Virgo
You should try to get all your ducks in a row today. You want to be ready for anything that comes your way -- be it by land, sea or water. It's good to be adaptable.
Libra
You can see the bigger picture. Everyone else is focused on the small stuff, but you can see how this is all going to look in a week or a month or even a year from now.
Scorpio
When you achieve your victory today, maybe you should try to keep the victory dance pretty low-key. Just make it tame. You don't want to seem like you're showing off.
Sagittarius
It's not like you're a big gambler or anything, but you like playing competitive games -- board games, card games, stuff like that. You are good at those kinds of activities, and you're funny when you're winning.
Capricorn
You thought everyone was sharing and that they were trying to make sure there was enough to go around, but then you realized that it was more like everyone for themselves. How incredibly bogus!
Aquarius
You can't deal with so many sudden changes all at once. Everything was supposed to be smooth sailing but now some people on jet skis are in the picture. Weird.
Pisces
Sometimes it's kind of hard to figure out what's real and what's just some weird extension of your dreams. It's fun to let your mind wander, but it's also sort of confusing at times.
