Let’s face it—most “teen” horoscopes are written by folks whose ages haven’t ended with “-teen” since 2002 and are subsequently pretty cringe. We can’t guarantee that our daily horo will never be cringe, but we can guarantee that it’ll at least be useful.
Aries
Artistic impulses overtake you. The form of the project may mutate to embrace more ideas, but the artistic endeavor in and of itself will drive you as it has driven most great artists. Enjoy the process, you baby Picasso.
Taurus
High energy, equal to that of wiggling puppies, readies you for physical and philosophical exercise today. A brisk walk and long talk could get your heart rate up and ideas jumping in fruitful, fascinating ways.
Gemini
A swarm of new viewpoints will inspire you to see the world from different perspectives. Toward evening, you'll settle on the most interesting worldview and think about it deeply, like an undersea diver exploring new waters.
Cancer
Oh you brainy, sexy fool. You're busy intellectualizing and philosophizing today, and people will be impressed. In the evening, put some of that energy into family matters and practice your management skills.
Leo
Red-hot (but good) energy flows through you today, and the duality in your nature begins to cause some contradictory splits. Just distract yourself with friends and adventures. That will plug up any leaks, and you'll have fun.
Virgo
Stay logical early in the day. In the evening, slip into pajamas and let visions of overseas adventures return. Travelogues and documentaries inform your dreams. The more you know, the more vivid your night visions become.
Libra
Talking to friends will spark a set of ideas that fly among all of you like fireflies. Socializing will lead to intellectual discovery, and you'll be the one to communicate just how revolutionary everyone has become.
Scorpio
Today will feel like you're watching a really awful horror movie. All you'll see is the cracks in other people's logic, just like those props and fake sets in a bad flick. Instead of getting annoyed, let it crack you up.
Sagittarius
Brand-new ideas and intellectual musings will swim through your head all day like schools of tropical fish. Be the tour guide and share your colorful thoughts, because those around you want to listen.
Capricorn
Solitary high jinks will have you giggling with secrets and fun. Break out of your shell and do something just sideways of normal, because you know there's a whole lot of life you haven't done yet.
Aquarius
Your natural stubbornness will keep you from rushing into a bad decision today. Don't be afraid to throw obstinate words at those who try to push you into too-fast choices. You know what's right for you.
Pisces
You're on the launchpad, suited up and ready to blast off with your new idea. Don't slow down the plans with details -- take off into the atmosphere with what you have already. People will want to follow.
