Love & Relationship Astrology: A Cosmic Guide to Compatibility 

Relationships are one of the best ways for us to experience personal growth, as we navigate both platonic and romantic partnerships. Romantic love is one of the most beautiful things to experience, but we’ve all heard the saying “love is not enough,” meaning it takes much more than adoration for another person to have a healthy relationship. With February being the month of love, let’s look at some factors in the birth chart that can indicate how compatible you may be with another person. 

Relationships Synastry – How You Vibe 

The foundation of astrological natal/birth charts are planets, signs, and houses. The planets represent a particular energy, the zodiac signs show how that energy is expressed, and the houses represent the areas of life where this energy is expressed. Synastry in astrology involves the comparison of two people’s birth charts to evaluate their dynamic with one another, and compatibility. This is done by assessing the relationship between the planets in each individual’s natal chart, and where they fall in the houses of each other, when the charts are overlapped. Because no relationship is perfect, there is no perfect synastry, and when astrologers are evaluating the potential of a relationship, including longevity, we are looking for a blend of both ease and challenges, because the challenges help two people grow and evolve as a couple. 

Sun Sign Compatibility – A First Step 

The sun sign in astrology represents your general personality including likes and dislikes, the way you express yourself, and is core to your identity. Sun sign astrology is the gateway to the deeper study of this complex subject, and can provide useful information about how two people may get along. However, it’s a tiny part of evaluating the true potential of two people in a relationship. If two people have compatible sun signs, this is like having your “foot in the door” when it comes to overall compatibility. The easiest way to see if you may be compatible personality wise with another person, is to compare your sun sign and its element to another person’s. A general rule of thumb is that fire and air signs mesh well together, as do earth and water signs. Or zodiac signs with the same element. The one caveat is opposite signs; every zodiac sign has an opposite in a compatible element that is different from theirs. Planets in opposite signs can balance each other out, but can also cause friction because they are so different. 

Below are the twelve western zodiac signs by element, as well as a list of opposite signs. So if you are a Virgo, you may be compatible with a Taurus, Capricorn, Cancer, Scoprio, or Pisces. But since Pisces is Virgo’s opposite sign, there may be an attraction, but not without some friction or differences, since the way these two express themselves is on the opposite end of the spectrum. 

Zodiac Sign Elements 

• Fire – Aries, Leo, Sagittarius 
• Earth – Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
• Air – Gemini, Libra, Aquarius 
• Water – Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces 

Opposite Signs 

• Aries – Libra 
• Taurus – Scorpio 
• Gemini – Sagittarius 
• Cancer – Capricorn 
• Leo – Aquarius 
• Virgo – Pisces 

The Moon – Emotional Safety and Intimacy 

The moon governs our emotions, how we nurture and like to be nurtured, and is the most private part of ourselves. If two people are not emotionally compatible, vulnerability, emotional maturity, and the feeling of empathy may be lacking in the relationship, which obviously can be a huge problem. You can use the same method as the sun sign compatibility to determine if your moon sign is compatible with another person’s. Additionally, one of the biggest indicators of compatibility involving the moon is when one person’s moon sign is in the same sign as another person’s sun sign; especially if it is close by degree. In astrology terms, this is a sun-moon conjunction. A conjunction is when two planets are “sitting” next to each other, and close by degree. Even if the two individuals have sun signs that are “not compatible,” the person that has the moon in the same sign as the other person’s sun, has an intuitive understanding of who they are. This is a wonderful connection for not only a romantic relationship, but also a friendship. If you are familiar with your moon sign, it may explain why you get along so well with people who have their sun in that zodiac sign. 

Mercury – Communication is Key 

The zodiac sign that Mercury is in indicates not only how you communicate, but also how you comprehend, and think. It’s no secret that one of the key factors to having a healthy relationship is communication, so this is a big thing to pay attention to when looking at compatibility through synastry. Here’s an example; My client is a sun earth sign, and so is her partner. She has Mercury in Taurus (fixed, earth), but her partner has Mercury in Sagittarius (mutable, fire). They have several different points of compatibility in their synastry, but communication is their biggest issue. He has a tendency to speak loud and say the first thing that comes to mind, while she takes her time, and frequently feels overpowered by his communication style when they have a disagreement. Taurus and Sagittarius are considered to be inconjunct or quincunx, and don’t share an element, or mode (cardinal, fixed, mutable). If my client’s partner had Mercury in Capricorn (cardinal, earth), or she had Mercury in Aries (cardinal, fire), perhaps it would be easier for them to communicate and get on the same page. But with their placements, they will always need to make adjustments, and often agree to disagree.

Relationship Expert Spicy Mari recommends her “spicy sandwich” as a technique for more effective communication: “When you want your partner to feel seen and understood, but also want to motivate them to make change, I always recommend the spicy sandwich. Affirm your partner first with their strengths. Then, give the constructive criticism and change behavior that you want them to make. Wrap it up with more affirmation. By affirming your partner first, you let them know that they are seen, and that you appreciate them. Now, they’re going to be more receptive to hearing constructive feedback.”  

Venus – Your Love Language

Venus in our birth charts indicates how we love, how we want to be loved, what we find pleasurable, and what we value. If two people’s Venus signs are in complementary zodiac signs by element, they may have similar tastes and enjoy activities together that awaken the five senses. If the Venus signs are incompatible, there will need to be some adjustments made on both ends when it comes to expressing love between each other. 

Sun-Venus conjunctions and Moon-Venus conjunctions are also powerful in synastry. If one person’s Venus is in the same sign as the other person’s sun sign, they usually find it easy to get along, and can enjoy each other’s company. 

Mars – Turn Up the Heat 

Mars is connected to our drive and passions, but because it’s a planet that runs hot and contains a lot of active energy, it’s connected to our physicality and sexuality. When two people’s Mars signs are compatible by element, or there’s a sun-Mars conjunction, Mars-Ascendant (rising sign) conjunction, or Venus-Mars conjunction (hello fireworks!), there’s an instant chemistry. Of course physical attraction and chemistry is not the end-all, be-all in a relationship, but it’s definitely a nice-to-have! 

The Descendant – Your Ideal Mate 

The descendant is the point directly opposite your Ascendant or rising sign in your natal chart. The descendant is associated with the 7th house of partnerships, or marriage in traditional astrology, and therefore indicates the qualities of your ideal partner. The sign the Descendant is in, is always the opposite zodiac sign of your rising sign. When a person has a personal planet, particularly the sun, moon, or Venus, in the sign of your descendant, or is conjunct the descendant, this is a big indicator of compatibility. A quality they possess is that of your ideal partner. 

Planets in the Houses 

Where a person’s planets fall in your natal chart houses when evaluating synastry, is an important part of analyzing compatibility. The angular houses (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th) are significant in a birth chart, and when planets are in these four houses, the manifestation of their energy is strong. This goes for your natal chart, and when evaluating synastry. So when a person has personal planets falling in one of your angular houses, or vice versa, this can be a significant relationship. First house planets mean they understand you. 4th house planets can make them feel like family. 7th house planets means they have qualities you are looking for. 10th house planets can indicate that they are connected to your career, or can impact your status and reputation in some way. 

The factors mentioned above only scratch the surface when it comes to relationship compatibility. Because natal charts are complex on their own, when you add another person’s into the mix, it takes things to another level. It’s also important to note that synastry between two people does not change. Of course we grow and evolve as humans, and there are other astrology charts that dictate what we are experiencing at a particular moment in time, but the natal/birth chart is your foundation and your “default setting.” We always defer back to behaviors rooted by our natal charts, so it’s important to pick your partners wisely. 

Spicy Mari says, “ The Gottman Institute has done a lot of research around conflict in communication, and 69% of conflict is perpetual, so they highly encourage that you get with someone whose conflict you can actually deal with. Make sure that conflict is tolerable, digestible, and that you can love your partner through it. That’s why techniques like the spicy sandwich are useful.” 
Synastry can be complex and require an expert level of experience to interpret, but don’t worry, we’ve done the work for you. If you’d like to see how compatible you are with another person, grab our Love Compatibility Report, and thank us later!